night routine this time ..

here comes my favorite part of the day ! oh yeah it's night time... i love observing the sun getting lower and lower as the sky is slowly colored with that magnificent mix of grey and blue .... and in the other side, the moon starts to sneak ....  the peace and calm in this moment is really breath-taking... as if all creatures are busy enjoying the beautiful view and the flawless  process which i ve always been fascinated by the complexity of it ... as we admire the beauty of the sunset someone in the opposite side of the globe is enjoying sunrise at this exact same time... admiring this view over and over every single day gives me that weird satisfaction and peace of mind .... it always makes me more and more sure that things will always go according to the plane and maybe some little surprises in the way won't hurt ... and of course i have some weird rituals for the night time :p
to start with i need to take off my makeup and put on comfy clothes and of course it wouldn't be night time without my little weird messy bun that i always fail to make it look cute  ...  oh it's that time again where i look like a panda with all the mascara that melts everywhere every time i attempt to take it off and as everyday i regret why i had to put it on the first place then i remember how awake it makes me look and how bad i need that every morning... i always wonder how my skin is feeling about makeup and if it enjoys it as much as i do.... i don't know why people always make it look that we're hiding our faces behind make up or that we 're trying to cover up our flaws why they don't see it the way we do.. it's fun to put some make up on.. well i can kind of understand it since they didn't had the chance to try it they can't really judge ... ouups bad for them ..  i love having a night time coffee ... i know it's weird but i m a good sleeper no matter how many coffees i have ... and yes i still hate coffee and still think that it tastes absolutely terrible but i keep having it morning and night ... it's probably the only thing that i still enjoy and hate at the same time ... i guess i m unable to decide whether i should love it or stop drinking it ... well the problem will be solved soon i guess my organs will eventually decide what's best for all ... caffeine is good for the brain and we all know that my brain is in charge of the decision making task ... oh i might just find the logical explication for this situation... whatever ... i enjoy my coffee with a different book everyday ... i m the most moody person in the whole world ... i get bored really easily ... so i need to switch up books every now and than... well let's be honest i switch up books more often then anyone could ever imagine ... i can't stick to just one story and deal with the same characters every single day ... it's really exhausting ... plus i have an unstoppable desire to read all the books i have ... all at once ... which is apparently not possible considering the amount of time i have ... so i figure it i ll just start them all and i ll figure out later how to finish them ... oh let's be honest again ... i ll may never figure it out but who cares the most important thing i m enjoying it ... and to be honest agaain i wish i could switch up real life characters i think it would be fun ... i take my time to enjoy the little details of every book i read to the point that i blend into the story...and since my favorite genre is crime and thriller sometimes i need to take a break just to look around and make sure i didn't killed anyone yet .. and of course i couldn't stop myself from asking some annoying questions i might never find an answer for like " who was the first one who came up with story writing?" he must be a genius ... i always believed imagination is  the most beautiful kind of intelligence ..if you have a good imagination you can do anything ....speaking of intelligent i think the ones who invented social medias are also genius they've managed to waste everyone's time with no regrets ... and of course it wouldn't be a good night if i don't enjoy wasting my precious time scrolling on Instagram snapchat and facebook ... and remembering how miserable my life is ... the good part is that it always took me just one minute to remember that i don't really care how everyone's life looks like ... and i don't mind if someone is always ahead ... the most important thing is that i m in that same direction i chose enjoying every single step even though it's still baby steps ! well my legs r short so i guess it does make sense ... after wasting my time for a while i realize that it's getting late so i take away the phone to have some quality time.. i had this habit for a long time now and i really enjoy it... yoga and meditation .. when i started doing it i was desperate to find a sport i like and i can stick to it so i started Pilates which i kind of enjoyed then i discovered Vinyasa yoga which is a variation a yoga that is supposed to get you moving and burn calories in a softer way.. well i enjoyed it until i come to a conclusion that i enjoy more the stretching and meditation parts plus i think now that yoga is a sport that is not meant to make you burn calories it goes beyond that so i started doing night time yoga just to relax and prepare my body for a good night sleep and it works so well for me .. that 30 min i take every night to do it make such a big difference ....  and here's come the real struggle going to sleep ... well i just said i m a sleeper but only when my brain decides to ... i grew up being a very creative person .. i can do the same thing with a different way every time and of course since i m a lazy person i always find out the easiest way to do it but in between i come up with sooo many creative ideas .. guess what ! the moment i put my head on my pillow ideas start to fall on me and i get overwhelmed that i can't sleep until my dose of creativity is over for the night and i wake up the next morning with a tone of ideas that i don't have the time to test and see how they really work .. which is another problem i need to fix i guess .. and for the record i almost never have dreams ... i guess i expire my  creativity with overthinking and day dreaming that i don't have the energy to create more dreams ...

 
love ... a word used more often today .. as a noun to express that deep attachment to our loved ones or to reveal our admiration for a person , a place , or even an object... as a verb to actually declare our love ... but the real question is " do they really use this word in its full meaning?"
love was defined in different ways and from different points of views:
"A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved." Kurt Vonnegut

" Nothing is mysterious, no human relation. Except love."Susan Sontag
but the one i really love is:
"What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love"Fyodor Dostoyevsky
 i think it's the most meaningful definition of all.. we are blessed with love... blessed to be able to love and blessed to be really loved. it's that kind of feeling that made you feel alive .. brings up the best of you... goes deep within your soul to every corner of your spirit and reveals all your secrets  ... gives that magical touch to all your flows so they become admirable ...
love surround us everywhere ... it's that glowing sparkle in your eyes ... that piece of heaven in your heart ... butterflies in  your stomach... sunshine in your mind...  peace in your soul..
it makes everything so meaningful ... love is caring for each other ...it's that feeling you have when you wait for your beloved ones when they are late.. it' your late prayers for a safe flight home ... the joy of preparing someone's favorite meal... the loud laughter after that terrible misunderstanding ... that look that needs no words to explain ... the smile that summarizes an hour long conversation .... it's that feeling of safety you have in you mommy's arms...it's that sense of  belonging you feel .. it's  goes beyond all...we love each other despite all the imperfections... despite all the differences ...
love is not blind... it never been and it will never be... it's like that Instagram filter which makes every color looks brighter ... it's makes you see through the souls to admire all the little details that you've never seen... the scares in their bodies and the story behind each and everyone... that one grey hair in your sister's dark hair... the beauty marks al over someone's face and their exact places.. the weird shapes of their toes ... the way they move their lips whenever they speak.. the way they prononce words differently  ...  love will make you distingue the fake smile of your best friend and what they hide behind... love will make you recognize someone's mood from his voice only ....  it will make someone's favorite tv shows your favorite too.. it will make you love that meal you always hated and enjoy sharing it with love... it will make you change .. grow and shine
with love our lives start .. we grow with love and hopefully we'll die with a heart full of love ..

let's make new definitions

since we all know how curious i can get sometimes , i was flipping the dictionary as i was wondering who invented all this words ? i took a moment to think about it when i came to conclusion : language is the most fascinating invention ever ,  and of course i kept digging and i 've done the research : the origin of language remains unknown but we have hypotheses that none of them seems to make sense for me : words are invented in imitation of animals voices , the first words as emotional interjections and exclamations triggered by pain, pleasure, surprise,....
i kept flipping  papers thinking what i could possibly add to it if i had the chance to create my own new word and after a deep thinking i thought maybe i can change some definitions instead.

opinion: ( noun) [ delicate] a personal belief , view or judgement that won't change the world probably ,but could change someone's life in both ways and should be used wisely
and i must mention that it shouldn't always be related with the verb to express you can always have the option "keep it to yourself"
but if i could define the whole expression:
express an opinion: to put your beliefs into polite and civilized words and make sure it respects people's feelings, religions and traditions ( not to be confound with insulting)

and for me opinions are the easiest way to change someone's mood instantly that's why it's a powerful tool when it comes to influencing people's lives
with all the social media i think for some people's expressing opinion should be prohibited with the law considering the damage it causes and it even it must be listed as a crime.

crime: (noun) -every action or saying that meant to hurt a person ,a groupe of person or an establishment physically or emotionally    

success: (noun) a state of mind resulted from being self conscious of your flaws , qualities and destination and happy about all of it

respect : ( noun) a feeling of appreciation for someone above all difference of any kind , every tinny creature is worthy of respect but it should be mutual
PS: respecting someone and liking them are two different feelings

knowledge: ( noun) acquaintance with or understanding of something and it's limitless , you can't claim to know everything since it's technically not possible but instead you can keep learning and you'll gain more knowledge

confidence: (noun) is the feeling of trusting oneself or someone so deeply that no one's opinion or actions can break the trust
 it can also be defined as a peaceful state of mind where beyond you knowledge that you don't have everything under control and nothing seems to be perfect you are sure that things are fine
 
i can always add more since my definition of thing seems to be very different sometimes of all definitions i ve ever seen and maybe one day i ll make my own dictionary where every word it defined properly as it should (be in my " opinion" ).

change ..

do you ever feel lost?
do you ever feel disoriented?
do you ever feel that you've dropped your purpose and lost your aspirations?
congratulations  you're just in the good direction! it's this terrible appalling feeling that makes you  grow ....makes you want to choose a different destiny and a different direction ,  it's in that exact same moment when you feel like changing ...
but here is the problem, i deeply believe that people do not change , at least not in the common sense ... no one can wish for blue eyes ,and cross his fingers that by the end of the week he'll have the blue eyes he dreamed of , it's just that simple. you can't wake up to be a different person , you can't abolish your whole being , can't abrogate the little details that makes you unique even if you pretended to , and even if you do just in time things will fall apart and you'll be really lost that you won't be able to find your path again..
therefore  i have a very different unique vision of changing ...
it starts with that one special morning , where you read a quote , a book , a verse ... where you watch a story of a different kind or you just simply observe good enough to  notice that little corner in your soul you don't really like ...  to recognize that the other lazy side of you is letting your life passing by .. to acknowledge all the love you're wasting on the wrong person ... to admire yourself and really look at the beautiful parts of you ,you didn't even appreciate ... and that's where change began in that instant you decide that you can be a better person , that you can do better , that you can dream bigger and achieve higher ... that moment when you realize that you're in the wrong place so you decide to take control of you life! this is what i love to call change ! ohh noo not yet! change needs persistence ...  you don't just decide , you need to have a plan... a clear vision of where you'd love to go... an exceptional path you see yourself loving it, and this is when magic starts to happens ...you'll change BUT you'll always be yourself just a little better...
however not everyone is capable of this, to change you need to be confident enough to let go of all that's keeping you away from where you'd like to go... you need to have that kind of awareness to dedicate all your energy in one direction without doubting whether you're right...  you need to be willing to take risk ...  to fail.. again and again until you get it right.. you need to have that deep strong belief in yourself to believe that you're able to do what ever you decide.. and of course you need to be willing to walk in whatever direction your soul decides..
and if you do so , i assure you , you'll be just in the right place
and remember this:
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”― Albert Einstein
choose your way..

grow a plant

What is like to be happy ? happiness can be defined in endless ways … every one can have different definition , his own ... 

For me happiness is a state of mind… is a fulfilling feeling everyone should seek ..to be happy is to be grateful for what you have… happy with what you do … enjoying where you belong… loving the people around you … enjoying all their details .. Being loved.. loving and be lovable… and it’s certainly a choice.. You can be both satisfied with what you have and looking for more.. You can enjoy even the little thing that makes you happy.. Watch the sunset on the beach admiring all the colors mixing together, the view that melt your heart every time as if it was your first … drink your favorite hot chocolate and enjoy that sweet taste you love … cook your favorite meal with so much love , mix all the ingredient with you magical touch that make it even better .. wear that piece of clothes you think it makes you look skinnier every day and not caring what they’ll think of you … tell that funny joke you love over and over again and enjoy laughing at that same joke every time… read that inspiring book again and again and always highlight your favorite paragraph, the one your eyes smile every time you read it..  Play that song that you sing along each time you hear it even though your voice is terrible … calling your best friend, your favorite human , the one that makes your eyes brighter , the one that bring up the best of you always… read that text message you keep for so long one more time it won’t hurt…  change your bed sheets so often and enjoy that beautiful feeling … enjoy the lazy Sundays … where you sit in bed all day long just enjoying that lovely feeling of doing nothing… have a nap , waking up after a calm sleep is one of the happiest times.. grow a plant and watch it every day , you’ll see it fight to see the sun light.. and you’ll be fascinating by how beautiful it will be.. never act like a grown up when it comes to babies , you need to be childish sometimes , to play with teddy bear again , draw flower and color the sky , jump , run and grovel...the innocent smile in their faces will always makes your heart dance.. count the stars on the warm summer nights and enjoy making a wish with each one of them... take a warm bath ,the beautiful sensation of  the hot water touching your skin is so satisfying and of course don't waste the opportunity to think about every weird problem you never thought of ,it's about time ... Meditate , it's really magical , your mind will travel to a magnificent place each time and you'll enjoy thing about nothing, just an empty brain for 10 minutes every day will definitely enhance your mood ... run, by the beach or just in a calm place where your body can just be in peace with you mind and you all together enjoy that moment... do whatever makes your soul happy even it's just a little thing.. happiness is that simple or at least for me it is .. and i m fully enjoying this simple definition as it bring up so much beauty and satisfaction <3 

life's little instruction book

 23.01.17

An unusual day … i had that urge to read a really good book … that kind of books that can make my day … that can go deeper and deeper in my spirit and uncovers the very shy parts of me the surreptitious ones …  I started searching for books with an encouraging  reviews when I saw “a list of 7 books you need to read before 20” … and I was like “ohh I’m already 22 i think my life was just a waste.. I ve never heard of most of them “ and they looked so boring until I saw this title “LIFE'S LITTLE INSTRUCTION BOOK”..   a book of 45 pages  … who would think that he is capable to give life instructions!! Does life comes with instructions!!! I was so confused and i thought  that the idea is pointless and unrealistic …. For me no one is sufficiently qualified to write this .. everyone’s life is different … there is no typical lives .. we should experience  learn and live our own original stories..  and I admit … I made a huge mistake … books are not judged by their titles of even their covers .. despite my prejudges I was inquisitive to know what’s inside  … so I started reading this 45 pages of magic and just after few seconds I was fascinated by how intelligent this writer is … I was reading just the first pages and already felt in love with the magically beautiful spirit of this book … I was laughing … smiling … I realized that I have tried some of the instructions already … planning on trying some other and decided to try some more … I kept reading page after page and I think it really made my day … I was deeply convinced that it’s the kind of books I was looking for …  and passionately proud that such captivating beautiful soul existed … that kind of person who sees life from that magical side … who acknowledge the little details and willing to enjoy life despite all the hurt … each word is full of hope.. love.. and joy … that reminds you to dream big… remind you to enjoy your good health… to invest your precious time… to love to great person you are.. to forgive the hurt and remember all the beauty … and I think it made my day a day to remember with this 45 pages of happiness … I should admit now that for sure some people are highly qualified to give life instructions and it so generous of them to share this beautiful conclusion of what they have learned throughout their lives.. Mr. Jackson brown the writer of this magnificent book deserves really to be named and known and I m so glad I did ….  

who are you ?

I always wonder why are we so different… different eye colors and shapes.. curly , straight and blond hair… tall and small… well, I  think genetic could have some very convincing answers for this question… and it’s the main reason I loved it … I enjoyed how it goes deep into our genes … through our DNA… the magical fascinating molecule that really carry your identity …. It explains the magnificent process of human diversity … and makes me deeply proud of all my unique features… it makes me really feel that I belong somewhere … but as for our personalities … it’s really mysterious how different we are..   Although we got the same education… lived in the same society … with the some people … and we don’t really share any similarities … that’s exactly what makes me question! Who I really I am..

I am a sweet authentic combination of various things that came across my life … starting from my early childhood… my parents kept telling me that I’m unique and so carefully created, that I am talented at something and capable of all … and I believed it …  started to love myself …  got more and more fascinated with how really original I am …and it magically improved my self-confidence ….  As I grew up I always saw that passion is both their eyes as they woke up every morning to work.. my mum always with that lovely smile … listening to her favorite singer as she sings along with her … giving to the whole home that childish soft spirit … as for my dad , he always wakes up in such a lovely mood spreading humor and joy … joking about everything… appreciating all the good little details and always looking to that full half of the glass …he was never late …   they were both so passionate about their professions  …  they enjoyed it … and I think that same passion got transmitted to my genes too.. it’s the only explanation I could believe :p … I have that same passion in my eyes every time I learn something new .. and  that’s when I learned that most fascinating thing are done with great love… I went to school with that amazing belief … I enjoyed learning … discovering the world around me with so much joy.. Love and curiosity… and I think that’s what I m  the most happy about..  all the beautiful things I have learned and the great things I still have to learn … my mom have that special love for books … so I grew up surrounded by all the great books … they were everywhere … and I shared her love for reading and writing … I relished all the great writers who sacrificed their lives for knowledge … and some books were life changing for me … I still remember every single word.. Letter and even punctuation.. the very tinny details.. the author talked to my soul with that language they both understood… convinced me that I was looking in the wrong place… and just with one book or even some words they made me follow their footsteps … and I really admire it… every single step… they made me a different person … and they are not the only ones who left a beautiful print in my soul … I was affected by every single human who invested in himself as the only paying investment… who existed just so they can leave their own touch of magic … and spread their genius creative thoughts… I can proudly call them all ARTIST ... hoping that I can be influenced by their imagination … creativity…. Intelligence.. Passion and love …

So as for who I am! I think I will never be able to give a realistic full definition of who really am … because I keep changing I was not the same person and I will never be either… I will keep learning and enjoy living … I don’t really need to answer this stupid question and I think no one should … we are simply who we choose to be and that’s what really matters …. you are the only one you should be willing to impress and once you do that's the real success <3